In timp ce redactorul-sef Dan Filoti discuta despre formidabila medalie de aur obtinuta de Alina Dumitru la Beijing, o plasma de pe un perete a cedat. Bine ca n-a patit ceva vreun redactor, in rest nu-i problema. Chiar nu e asa de scumpa, sunt reduceri acum la Altex.

Cei doi, prietenii mei de multi-multi ani, se casatoresc. Este cea mai buna veste a acestor zile. Fericitul eveniment va avea loc pe 27 septembrie, anul acesta, la restaurantul “Casa Domnesti” din Domnesti sa traiesti. Vom veni, stai linistit, nu-ti face probleme, leule progresist de vita noua care faci “click”. Casa de piatra!

Cel mai mare fan al Universitatii Craiova, in aceasta fotografie asculta emisiunea “Fotbal minut cu minut”, si-a dat pletele jos. Din cap. Arata mai a om. Aveti trei variante de raspuns la gestul personajului injurat de Olaroiu, faultat dur de Vladoiu si care il iubeste pe Mititelu cum il iubesc eu pe Gigi Becali. Iata variantele de raspuns la intrebarea “de ce s-a tuns Popeanga?”:

a) de nervi ca Universitatea Craiova a pierdut cu Steaua in ultimele minute si-a smuls parul, firicel cu firicel
b) in urma unui concert rock sustinut de trupa Avatar, a avut loc un scurtcircuit la instalatia de sonorizare, iar podoaba capilara s-a carbonizat
c) s-a tuns ca nu mai suporta canicula si sampoanele

Puteti bifa si toate raspunsurile, precum la chestionarele auto. In rest, Pops o duce bine, face si ne face publicitate. Muica…

A dat lovitura, de ce s-o mai o “zguduim”? E profesor la pariuri: a bagat 4 lei, adica un euro, si a luat 15.000 de euroi… A jucat, dupa parerea mea, ca la Loto 6 din 49: cu mult tupeu si cu foarte mult noroc. Ce-or zice falsii dusmani, “prietenii” sau prietenii fara ghilimele? Ce, n-ati inteles? Hahahaha… Mai bine. Dorinele, cateodata am impresia ca esti un actor genial (mai ales daca beau un pahar de vin!), iar alteori unul mediocru (atunci cand beau apa plata!). E prima oara cand ma bucur ca nu esti actor intr-un film cu pariuri. E mai bine sa fie adevarat, crede-ma. Aveti atasat biletul cu meciurile care l-au scos din mediocritate.

De fapt acum cateva zile, n-am avut timp, insa acum ii raspund, Leapsa mai departe pentru marcos, predanus si beldiutza. Cum se procedeaza? Se ia lista frumos… copy and paste, apoi se bolduiesc lucrurile valabile pt domniile voastre. Hai!

01) Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02) Swam with wild dolphins
03) Climbed a mountain
04) Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05) Been inside the Great Pyramid
06) Held a tarantula.
07) Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08) Said ‘I love you’ and meant it
09) Hugged a tree
10) Done a striptease
11) Bungee jumped
12) Visited Paris
13) Watched a lightning storm at sea
14) Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
15) Seen the Northern Lights
16) Gone to a huge sports game
17) Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18) Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19) Touched an iceberg
20) Slept under the stars
21) Changed a baby’s diaper
22) Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23) Watched a meteor shower
24) Gotten drunk on champagne
25) Given more than you can afford to charity
26) Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27) Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28) Had a food fight
29) Bet on a winning horse
30) Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
31) Asked out a stranger
32) Had a snowball fight
33) Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34) Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35) Held a lamb
36) Enacted a favorite fantasy
37) Taken a midnight skinny dip
38) Taken an ice cold bath
39) Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40) Seen a total eclipse
41) Ridden a roller coaster – a small one I should add!
42) Hit a home run
43) Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44) Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45) Adopted an accent for an entire day
46) Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47) Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48) Had two hard drives for your computer
49) Visited all 50 states of USA
50) Loved your job for all accounts
51) Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52) Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53) Had amazing friends
54) Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55) Watched wild whales
56) Stolen a sign
57) Backpacked in Europe
58) Taken a road-trip
59) Rock climbing
60) Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice
61) Midnight walk on the beach
62) Sky diving
63) Visited Ireland
64) Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65) In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
66) Visited Japan
67) Benchpressed your own weight
68) Milked a cow
69) Alphabetized your records
70) Pretended to be a superhero
71) Sung karaoke
72) Lounged around in bed all day
73) Posed nude in front of strangers
74) Scuba diving
75) Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye
76) Kissed in the rain
77) Played in the mud
78) Played in the rain
79) Gone to a drive-in theater
80) Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it
81) Visited the Great Wall of China
82) Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog.
83) Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84) Started a business
85) Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86) Toured ancient sites
87) Taken a martial arts class
88) Sword fought for the honor of a woman
89) Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90) Gotten engaged
91) Been in a movie
92) Crashed a party
93) Loved someone you shouldn’t have
94) Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95) Gotten married
96) Had sex at the office
97) Gone without food for 5 days
98) Made cookies from scratch
99) Won first prize in a costume contest
100) Ridden a gondola in Venice
101) Gotten a tattoo
102) Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103) Gotten divorced
104) Been on television news programs as an “expert”
105) Got flowers for no reason
106) Masturbated in a public place
107) Got so drunk you don’t remember anything
108) Taken illegal drugs
109) Performed on stage
110) Been to Las Vegas
111) Recorded music
112) Eaten shark
113) Had a one-night stand
114) Gone to Thailand
115) Seen Siouxsie live
116) Bought a house
117) Been in a combat zone
119) Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120) Been on a cruise ship
121) Spoken more than one language fluently
122) Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123) Bounced a check
124) Performed in Rocky Horror
125) Read – and understood – your credit report
126) Raised children.
127) Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy.
128) Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129) Created and named your own constellation of stars
130) Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131) Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132) Called or written your Congress person
133) Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134) …more than once?
135) Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136) Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
137) Had an abortion or your female partner did
138) Had plastic surgery
139) Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived.
140) Wrote articles for a large publication
141) Lost over 100 pounds
142) Held someone while they were having a flashback
143) Piloted an airplane
144) Petted a stingray
145) Broken someone’s heart
146) Helped an animal give birth
147) Been fired or laid off from a job
148) Won money on a T.V. game show
149) Broken a bone
150) Killed a human being
151) Gone on an African photo safari
152) Ridden a motorcycle
153) Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
154) Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155) Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156) Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157) Ridden a horse
158) Had major surgery
159) Had sex on a moving train
160) Had a snake as a pet
161) Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162) Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163) Slept for more than 30 hours
164) Visited lots of foreign countries: Not lots, but there are some.
165) Visited all 7 continents
166) Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167) Eaten kangaroo meat
168) Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169) Been a sperm or egg donor
170) Eaten sushi
171) Had your picture in the newspaper
172) Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173) Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
174) Gotten someone fired for their actions
175) Gone back to school
176) Parasailed
177) Changed your name
178) Petted a cockroach
179) Eaten fried green tomatoes.
180) Read The Iliad
181) Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
182) Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183) …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184) Taught yourself an art from scratch
185) Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186) Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187) Skipped all your school reunions
188) Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189) Been elected to public office
190) Written your own computer language
191) Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
192) Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193) Built your own PC from parts
194) Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
195) Had a booth at a street fair
196) Dyed your hair
197) Been a DJ
198) Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199) Written your own role playing game
200) Been arrested.

Nu de Munteanu, ci de liderul glumelor, al intarzierilor la servici si al echipei nationale de ziaristi simpatici, prieteni cu jurnalistii si cu umorul de calitate. De omul care are la fotbal niste pantaloni care seamana cu cei ai lui Garrincha sau ai lui Di Stefano pe vremurile cand o fenta din genunchi nu putea fi zarita din cauza sortului. De cel care zambeste cand nu e cazul si de cel care rade, exact la doua secunde, dupa ce gluma a luat sfarsit. Sunt curios ce mai zice de Hagi, Basto si Nour. Beynour am vrut sa spun. Chiar ai disparut? Da si tu un telefon, ca tot iti vine factura mare, nerecunoscatorule! Ghiciti personajul? SUNT SIGUR CA NU!

Mugurel Dumitru e un baiat ok. Are o multime de calitati, dar un mare defect: vorbeste mult la telefon. Cand ai nevoie de el, e cu receptorul la ureche si bodoganeste ceva acolo. Apoi, te duci pina la WC, te intorci, e in aceeasi pozitie si murmura… Mai vorbesc cu Pops, mai ma uit pe un ziar, imi aduc aminte de Pufosu’, ma uit la el: vorbeste la telefon!!!. Trece ziua, uit cat ma enerveaza acest individ, ne pregatim sa plecam acasa. Cand ce credeti ca face Mugurel? VORBESTE LA TELEFON!!!!!! Nu stiu cu cine dialogheaza toata ziua, dar ultimul telefon e pentru Betty. O anunta ca pleaca de la servici ca sa fie informata si ea. Dati-va si voi cu parerea, va rog si incercati sa-l schimbati. Cat mai puteti. Succes. PS: Intr-o zi o sa-i fur telefoanele, va promit.